


Strangers (A Rilaya Story)

by Rilaya_Tattoos



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: F/F, Minor Lucas Friar/Riley Matthews
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2018-12-09 10:21:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11667174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rilaya_Tattoos/pseuds/Rilaya_Tattoos
Summary: Riley and Maya had been teetering on the edge of something more than friendship...There was a...tension...that had developed...Subtle touches became static filled... Simple glances at one another started to linger a little too long to be considered just "friendly"... Dancing together at parties became... Steamier... With bodies flush against one another, and hands that tended to wander... And inner thoughts, feelings, and...desires?... Well, they definitely crossed that very blurred line between friendship and something more...But, somewhere along the way things changed...It was never verbally addressed... It just... Happened...Suddenly, Riley and Maya don't interact anymore... They...drifted apart...You could say that it was a mutual move... They both became overwhelmed with the changes that were developing between them... So, they both closed themselves off from one another...It has been months since the two girls have spoken or been around each other...So, what happens when Riley decides to attend a party?... One that Maya is throwing at her own apartment?...Will feelings just continue to be pushed away?Or, will things heat up even more than ever?...





	1. ...We're Just Strangers...

**Author's Note:**

> *This story will alternate between Riley and Maya's POVs. I will note who's POV it is at the beginning of each chapter, and if POVs change throughout the chapter.
> 
> *Maya is 18 and living on her own
> 
> *Riley is 17
> 
> *Just like in GMW Riley and Maya have been friends since they were little 
> 
> *Neither Riley or Maya are "out" as gay or bisexual
> 
> *Seeing as I'm a music addict, each chapter title (and the book itself) will be named after songs or song lyrics. I will mention the song title and artist/band at the start of each chapter
> 
> *CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT such as: Sexual situations, strong language, drugs, alcohol, and mention of self-harm
> 
> *This is a GirlXGirl story. If you do not like or approve of this (or any of the content mentioned above) do not read it. NO HATE.
> 
> ***IMPORTANT***I DO NOT OWN GMW OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. BUT THIS STORY PLOT/ORIGINAL CONTENT ARE MINE. DO NOT STEAL.***
> 
> Please vote, comment, etc. :) Feedback and any suggestions you guys have is greatly appreciated. Happy reading!!! I really hope you enjoy this story! 
> 
> I currently have this story up on Wattpad as well... So, you can check it out there too if you would like to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited 8/10/17
> 
> •Changes in nouns and pronouns  
> •Minor changes in wording  
> •Removal of some ellipsis points throughout the chapter

A/N:  
*This story will alternate between Riley and Maya's POVs. I will note who's POV it is at the beginning of each chapter, and if POVs change throughout the chapter.

*Maya is 18 and living on her own

*Riley is 17

*Just like in GMW Riley and Maya have been friends since they were little 

*Neither Riley or Maya are "out" as gay or bisexual

*Seeing as I'm a music addict, each chapter title (and the book itself) will be named after songs or song lyrics. I will mention the song title and artist/band at the start of each chapter

*CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT such as: Sexual situations, strong language, drugs, alcohol, and mention of self-harm

*This is a GirlXGirl story. If you do not like or approve of this (or any of the content mentioned above) do not read it. NO HATE.

***IMPORTANT***I DO NOT OWN GMW OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. BUT THIS STORY PLOT/ORIGINAL CONTENT ARE MINE. DO NOT STEAL.***

Please vote, comment, etc. :) Feedback and any suggestions you guys have is greatly appreciated. Happy reading!!! I really hope you enjoy this story!

***********************************************************************

Chapter Title Song: A line from 'Strangers" by Halsey (feat. Lauren Jauregui)

Riley's POV:

   Walking through the door of her apartment, I take a deep breath.

   Even under the odor of the alcohol and sweaty bodies, I can make out that familiar scent. The one that always clung to her skin and clothes.

   Maybe it's all in my head... Or, maybe I'm just so addicted to that aroma... Addicted to her... That I can pick up on any trace of her. No matter what should be standing in my way. 

   Since she and I...drifted apart...there have been numerous times that I have thought I caught a breath of her...

   In the weeks following the blonde's last visit, her scent still lingered in my bedroom...

It seems to float through the school's hallways and classrooms... As if she's right around every corner, and sitting in every seat.

   But, as I fill my lungs with this version of her scent -the one that seems to be soaked into the walls of this place that she now calls home- I now realize that those passing aromas, and even the fading smell of her that once so strongly clung to my pillows and bedsheets, were never spot on...

   And, maybe there was a reason why I could never find her wrapped up in a bottle every time I scoured her favorite stores in search of a version of her that I could keep after she seemed to just vanish from my life completely. Maybe there's a reason other than the possibility that the brands that she uses stopped carrying her particular smell.

   Maybe the reason is that her scent can't be manufactured...

   Maybe it was... Is... Purely a Maya Hart thing... Maybe it's all her...

   Taking in another deep breath, I decide that this is exactly the case. It's just... Maya...

   Looking around the room, all of my other senses finally decide to kick in. Taking in all of the bodies filling the room, and the pounding bass thumping in my ears. 

   Everyone seems to be having a great time.

   But me? I'm on edge...

   I remember perfectly, how at parties -just like this one- Maya and I used to laugh, drink, and dance together...

   How, on so many occasions, we almost crossed all of the blurred lines that were between us...

   And now, looking back, I think that those lines, and the tension, have both been there ever since we hit our teen years, and discovered and started to try and understand all of those sorts of feelings. But, I never realized it until that tension between Maya and I got thicker and thicker, until it was suffocating, and the lines blurred until they almost didn't exist...

   I know that those lines and that tension are the reasons that we drifted apart, but something inside of me wants to... Needs to hear her say it. To hear her admit...

   Suddenly, my thoughts are totally derailed, as my eyes catch onto ocean blue pools across the room... The eyes that, if I'm honest, started haunting my dreams long before that tension between Maya and myself became too thick to breathe properly...

   I haven't seen these eyes in months...

   Yes, Maya and I both started the drifting... It wasn't just her decision... We never even discussed it... But, it seems that the artist is extremely determined not to even breathe the same air as me. Somehow, I haven't even seen her in passing. Even at school... Where we share about seventy-five percent of our classes, and the same lunch period...

   It's like she's a ghost, and the only way I know she exists... Or ever existed in the first place... Is by the memories that play through my head every day on repeat... And the whispers...stories...rumors...that have been travelling around town and through the school...

   I've been trying my hardest not to believe the things I have been hearing... I don't want to think that a version of Maya like that could exist...

   But now, taking in Maya's eyes -even from across the room, with her gaze bouncing around the room as if she's searching for something...or someone...while being unable to focus at all. Even with her not looking at me- I can tell that some -if not all- of those whispers have a very real possibility of being true...

   She's not the same Maya I once knew...

   The ocean blue of her eyes -although I could still drown in those orbs- doesn't seem to flow as deep as it always used to. Her gaze seems so dark and hollow...

   Even the contours of the blonde's beautiful face reveal that she isn't the same.

   The skin there -once so vibrant and full of life- is now sallow, and pulled tight over her now prominently visible cheekbones and hollowed out cheeks.

  The sunken, purple circles surrounding her eyes look like bottomless pits...

   She looks so vacant... Lost... Broken... Like she's living in her own personal Hell...

   And, I hate to sound self-absorbed, but a big part of me wonders if  Maya's broken state is because of me. Because of us. Or, the lack thereof...

   Because, that is what's killing me. Not having her in my life...

   Yes, it was so painful, having to dance around the feelings and desires I finally realized I had for her. Keeping them locked inside... Fearing how she would react if she knew...

   It became even worse when those lines started to blur... When it started to seem like she might feel the same... Becoming so conflicted, and second guessing everything she did or said... Hoping against hope that she actually did feel the same, but being so fearful that I was just imagining things...

   That constant limbo that I... We...  Lived in for what seems like forever... That was extremely painful...

   But, this? Not having her in my life at all? Not even seeing just a glimpse of the blonde artist here and there? Not speaking to her? Not seeing those eyes? Hearing that voice? Feeling her touch? Has been so much worse... 

   And seeing her in this self-destructive state just adds to the pain.

   I'm dying on the inside, but I just hide it pretty well.

   For a while my parents and friends could tell I was hurting, but eventually I learned how to cover it up... 

Now, the only person who can tell I'm still broken... Steadily breaking... Is Farkle...

He's the only one who knows me even half as well as Maya does... Actually, as well as she used to, I guess? Because, she doesn't know anything about how, or who, I've been for the past three months...

Three months without her... My best friend... My soulmate... My forever... 

Three months of hiding that I'm breaking more and more every single day. Acting like I've moved on. Keeping a smile plastered on my face during the light of day, but spending my nights crying my eyes out and drinking late into the night until I finally pass out due to the alcohol and exhaustion. Then, waking up from dreams of her, and wishing they were real...

So, yeah, I know what it's like to hurt over this... Over Maya... 

If I'm the reason for her pain, I understand her pain. I mean, I could never fully understand her exact pain... But, I do understand the pain of not having your best friend...the person closest to you...in your life anymore...

And maybe I'm wrong... Maybe Maya's pain -her broken appearance- has nothing to do with me. Maybe she's fine without me, and doesn't even care about me, or the fact that I'm not in her life anymore...

Maybe if she has done all of the things I've heard she has, it's just because she got a wild hair and went on a wild bender...

But honestly, I think she is in pain... Not because I want to believe that she's broken up over me, but just based off of everything I see in front of me... I believe there's a reason behind all of it... Something other than her just trying to rebel and "have fun"...

And if I am that reason... If us being a part is the problem behind her pain... I understand it...

I understand living in your own personal Hell, and doing things you normally wouldn't. Becoming something, someone that you're not... 

Through these past three months I've started to doing things I wouldn't... I've become someone I know that I'm really not... Someone that Maya doesn't know...

And just seeing her like this... Seeing her as something that I know that she's not, as someone I don't know... I hate it...

I hate knowing that if we were face to face we would each both be standing in front of a total stranger...

Finally, as that thought crosses my mind, Maya's eyes finally stop their journey around the room... They have now locked on mine...

And I get an even more detailed look at the stranger that Maya has become...

 

 

Word Count: 1709 Words


	2. Since You've Been Gone... I Can't Get Gone      Enough...

Chapter Title Song: A line from "Drinkin' Too Much" by Sam Hunt

Maya's POV:

I...can't...breathe...

Three months... 

I've avoided her...for three fucking months...

And now... She's here...

Although I know that she initiated this...distance...between us just as much as I did, I thought that she would have hunted me down before now... 

I mean, she's Riley Matthews... Normally, she wouldn't have let something like this go on for so long... Even if she did have a part in it happening to begin with...

And really, I didn't expect myself to last this long either...

It's not like I wanted this to begin with... It is necessary... But. I didn't expect that I would truly be able to stay away from her for this long...

I expected that I would cave... That I would give in, and find her... Apologize for the distance... See if se was okay with trying to put the past three months...and all of the changes that had occurred before them...behind us... See if she wanted to try and return to the friendship that we had before...

Sure, if that happened, being around her would hurt... Just like it did before this separation. I would have to go back to watching everything that I would do and say... I would have to hide my true feelings...

But, if I couldn't handle the lack of her presence... Then hiding my feelings, and watching myself on every little thing, would be worth having her back in m life... 

Even if it was just as my friend... My best friend...

But, I haven't caved. I've been able to handle not having Riley in my life... Although, it hasn't been without pain... Consequences... Substances... People... Things that aid in keeping me busy, distracted, and numb...

Up until now, she hasn't sought me out... She hasn't tried to put herself back into my life... 

She hasn't tried to find me and convince me that all of this distance is a mistake... And, I've been able to stick to my guns and stay the Hell away from her...

For three whole months...

But now. here she is...

At my party... In the doorway of my apartment... Right across the room from me...

And, from the moment that I caught sight of those chocolate eyes... I was hooked... I totally stopped functioning... 

Now, all there is, is her and myself...

Even with all of the alcohol and other substances in my system... With all of the party goers and buzzing music... All I can focus on is the two of us... Riley and Maya... As if we are the only people that exist...

This is why I have done my absolute best to stay as far away from her as possible... Why, for the last three months, I've avoided every one of our old hangout spots, skipped our shared classes at school, and found random places to go for my lunch period each day...

I've known that if I saw her... Even for a second... Even if I had something strong flowing through my bloodstream... That it would all be over... I would be done for... I would HAVE to have her back in my life...

And, this situation right here... It proves me right...

Three months...

Of doing everything in my power to stay away... 

Fighting the temptations to see her... 

Pumping my system full of alcohol and chemicals... Attempting to cloud my mind, and numb the pain... 

Giving myself away... Spending time wrapped up in sheets and sweat... Trying to keep myself distracted, and high off of the hormones...

But still, wishing that I had Riley in my life - in some form or fashion... 

Longing for the bodies that hovered above me, or that I had pinned beneath me, to be her... Wishing that it was her skin that I was searing with my lips... That she was the one moaning, and moving her body with mine... Wanting it to be her fingers exploring my body... 

Wishing that she had been my first time... And every single one of the times following it...

She is still the one who floats through my mind every time that my hands venture beneath my clothes... Her name is always the one rolling off of my tongue as I tip myself over the edge...

I might have still wanted her... Missed her... Longed for her... Indulged in thoughts of her... But, I stayed away... Far, far away...

After months of using all of those things and people... Destroying myself... Tearing myself apart... 

After spending all that time trying to convince myself that I'm even more fucked up than I was when she was in my life... That I don't deserve her anyways, and that she deserves much better than me... That this gives me one more major reason to keep my distance... 

All of that... And now, it's all pretty much shot to Hell...

Because, she is here...

And, I don't know what to do... I don't know what I CAN do...

I'm zoned in on her... And I don't think I can even function at all anymore... 

But, I know that I have to...

That I have to wake the Hell up, and get the fuck out of here...

Get as far away from this situation... As far away from her as I can... Or else, I'll finally cave, and screw everything up... 

So, that's what I do...

Seeing as Riley is still standing in the main doorway of the apartment, my personal preference of just getting as far away from this place... As far away from her as possible...isn't an option... So, I'll have to go with the only other option I have...

I manage to break eye contact with those dark eyes, drop my gaze to the floor, stand from the couch that I'm sitting on, and make my way to my bedroom.

I can feel Riley's eyes follow me as I move...

The weight of her gaze doesn't let up until I've crossed the threshold of my room, closed the door behind me, and twisted the lock into place.

Locked up by myself, I feel as if I can breathe again... It's still a struggle... Each breath coming in staggering gasps... But, at least some oxygen is making it into my lungs...

Honestly, I would love to hide away in here for the rest of the night... That way, whenever I would decide to exit the room in the morning, I would know that Riley wouldn't be out in the living room...possibly waiting for me... 

But I mean, whenever she and I went to parties together before all of...this...we never stayed out any later than three in the morning... So, surely she would be long gone before whatever time I would decide to emerge from this temporary hide away...

And really, what is the possibility of her being out there waiting on me to show my face again anyways? She hasn't shown interest in hunting me down before tonight... So, what are the chances that she's even here for me in the first place? It's a party... Surely she's just here for some fun...right?

Plus, I'm the host of this whole rager. This is my apartment. I can't just stay shut up in this room for the rest of the night... No matter how much I may want...or need...to... I have to go back out there and show my face...

And maybe, if I go out there and party it up like I'm having the time of my life, maybe then she'll think I'm okay. That her presence doesn't bother me at all... Then, if she is intending on approaching me tonight, maybe she won't... Maybe she'll just continue to keep her distance...

I have to go back out there...

Even if it is just because I'm the one throwing this party...

So, I make my way over to my bedside table, pull out the bottom drawer, and remove the half empty bottle of Jack Daniels that resides there.

For a moment, my eyes linger on the messy stack of pictures that lies underneath...

Riley's eyes stare back at me from every single one...

When this whole distance thing started, I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle seeing her face, yet, I couldn't bring myself to burn any image of her... So, I took any photograph that was graced with her, and put them in the bottom of this drawer...

I close my eyes, and the drawer, and I move to sit on the edge of my bed. I twist the bottle cap off, raise the bottle to my lips, and take four deep swallows... The burn of the alcohol going down with a nice kind of pain...

Once I replace the cap, I stand and put the bottle back in it's drawer. I keep my eyes away from the photos, take a deep breath, and I brace my self for what is to come...

I make my way to the bedroom door, and grasp the knob. As I twist the lock and open the door, I cast my eyes to the floor and run my left hand through my hair.

I haven't even stepped through the doorway, or removed my hand from the doorknob, when I take one last deep breath and lift my eyes from the floor...

And once again... I...can't...breathe...

Because there...mere inches away...are the same brown eyes that have filled my mind and haunted my dreams for as long as I can remember...

The same ones that have always stolen my breath just as they did earlier... Just as they are doing right now...

There, right in front of me, stands Riley Matthews...

The closest she's been to me in months...

Breathing the same air I would be breathing... If she hadn't already stolen all of the oxygen from my lungs, and made it impossible to inhale and exhale like I need to...

Standing there is the girl that my world has revolved around ever since we met...

My best friend...

The girl that I've been missing for the last three months... That I've been absolutely miserable without...

There stands the girl that I can't forget... That I can't -and don't want to- live without... That I can't get my mind off of... No matter how hard I try...

There stands the girl... The one who I am completely, irrevocably in love with... 

No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I can't be...

 

Word Count: 1770 Words


	3. I Don't Need A Metaphor For You To Know I'm Miserable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this update it so late! Life has been crazy busy lately.
> 
> I plan to go through chapter 2 soon to edit some nouns/pronouns, remove some ellipses, and possibly change up a little wording if I see that that is needed.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Feedback and Kudos are always appreciated. :)

Chapter Song Title: A line from "What's Wrong" by PVRIS 

 

Riley's POV: 

I'm staring into two blue pools...

They used to be endless oceans, but now they are pools in which you can easily touch the bottom...

I don't even know what made me follow Maya when she got up off of that couch.

Well, actually, I do... 

Part of it is the same thing that caused this whole situation that we are in. It's the reason that all of those lines got blurred months ago. Why Maya and I are now strangers.

It's all of the feelings that I possess. The ones that consume me, and try their best to drown out any reasonable thought that I have when it comes to Maya. Thoughts that help me keep my distance from her. The ones that would be easier to obey if she were anyone other than who she is...

But, that's just it. It's her. Who she is. She's the reason behind all of those feelings, and the pull that I feel towards her.

If she were anyone else, I'm sure I could smother these feelings, and get rid of them...

If she were anyone else, these feelings wouldn't have even developed in the first place...

But, she's Maya Hart.

She's my best friend. My other half.

The total opposite of everything that I am, yet, she completes me.

She is my heart.

But, despite all of that, I have been able to stay away from her the past three months.

I believe that one of the reasons that this has been possible, is the fact that she hasn't come to find me. That she obviously doesn't want me in her life, otherwise -being who she is- she would have hunted me down, and made it clear that she doesn't like the distance.

But, she hadn't done that. She had totally removed herself from my life. She had kept herself so far removed from me, that in three months I haven't seen even one single glimpse of her.

And, all I want is for Maya to be happy, so I just left the distance how it was. Heavy and ever-present. 

I have hated fact that I never saw her, but in all honesty it also helped me keep my distance as well.

Yes, she still floated through my mind every single day. She still haunted my dreams every night. And, it hurt. It made the temptations to search her out even more difficult to withstand.

But, that is completely different than actually seeing her in person...

The blue of those eyes. Her blonde waves. Those tempting lips. That jawline. Everything.

Playing those things through my mind is different from actually laying my eyes on them.

From the second my eyes landed on the blonde tonight, it was all about her. All about Maya Hart.

Nothing else mattered.

Not the party, the friends I had waiting for me here, or the alcohol.

Just Maya...

But, in truth, when it comes to me, everything is always about Maya.

She is always running through my mind. No matter what I do. No matter how hard I used to try and stop it. She's always there.

And now that I have actually seen her, the rational part of my brain, the one that normally helps keep me in check, has totally stopped functioning. That portion of my head that helps me maintain even the smallest stitch of control, keeps me from giving into the overwhelming Maya-centric temptations, and make sure that I keep some amount of rational thinking when it comes to the blonde rebel -no matter how small that amount may be-, that portion no longer exists.

So, a second or so after Maya made the move from that worn couch, my feet started to move on their own accord.

My mind wasn't registering the action, but it had registered the strange look that had settled over Maya's face once we locked eyes. And, it continued to process all of the signs of pain that I had noticed upon her features.

Yes, I'm concerned about her. And yes, that is another reason that I made my way across the room to follow her.

But, it's so much more than that as well.

I'm always drawn to her. Even after all of this distance and pain, I'm just pulled towards her.

I always feel that pull... And, now that the part of myself that normally would keep me restrained was gone, suddenly, my feet were moving across the blonde artist's hardwood floor, as my eyes were trying to keep her in my line of sight, and my arms were itching -even more than they normally do- to wrap around her frame and pull her close. 

My eyes stayed glued to her -even with all of the dancing, drunk bodies moving between us- and eventually, I saw her disappear into a room and close the door.

Once I reached the wooden barrier, I just stood there, staring at the grains in the dark wood.

Minutes passed, and my feet stayed glued to the floorboards beneath them. I couldn't move...

I don't know how long I was standing there, but it felt like forever before that hunk of wood moved.

Then, my eyes were met with the top of Maya's head, and I could see her fingers twist and move through her sea of blonde tresses.

I heard a deep intake of breath, then suddenly, she lifted her eyes from the floor they were glued to...

Now, here we stand...

Face to face.

Up close, and personal.

We both just stare, like we might be in shock.

Actually, I know that I'm in shock. I have been ever since I laid my eyes on her tonight.

Over the last three months, I have run this scenario through my head over and over again. Imagining what would happen -what I would say- when -if- I saw Maya again. 

Now, here we are. 

My brain keeps telling me to open my mouth and speak, but I can't. And, even if I could, I don't know what I would even begin to say...

If Maya wants to say something, she isn't doing so either. So, I take this opportunity to continue observing the artist as I was earlier. But, this time in better detail.

I finally take in every take in every detail that I can lay my gaze on. 

My eyes quickly run over her frame from head to toe one time, then they begin to slowly take Maya in.

Every detail, but in a very random order.

Now that her gaze has lifted from the floor, I notice that her golden locks still fall to the middle of her chest, and they are full of her natural, messy waves. Her hair was always so thick and stunning, and that hasn't changed one bit.

My gaze shifts, and I notice -for the first time- that her blue eyes are surrounded by large amounts dark eyeliner and mascara. 

Ever since Maya started wearing makeup, it has been my personal opinion that she looks just as beautiful -if not more so- without the addition of the cosmetics as she does with it. And, although I had made this fact known to the artist on a couple of occasions, I never minded when she chose to wear the layer of beauty products across her features. 

Yet, even when she chose to wear makeup, it was never to this extent, and I'm honestly having a hard time taking all of it in...

The blonde has always been edgy, but the color of this makeup adds an extra bit of toughness to her exterior. Yet, it also accentuates the hollow look in her eyes, and the tired looking circles that lay around them...

Moving on, my eyes bounce to the skin of her mouth, and they linger there for a moment. But, I pull my eyes away just as the pull to run my fingers -or my own set of lips- over the tempting flesh begins to settle heavily into my veins.

The pieces of her outfit come next. Everything about it screams "Maya". From her distressed, black Dr. Martins, to the black skinny jeans tucked within them. A silver chain hangs over her left hip -connected to her pants by two of her belt loops-, and tears grace the expanse of fabric from the middle of her thighs to just below her knees. And last, but not least, I recognize that the blue and black plaid button-up covering the blonde's torso is one of her favorite shirts. 

The rips in Maya's jeans show a tantalizing amount of her skin...

But, what primarily catches my attention, is the fact that the sleeves of her shirt are pulled down, and fastened around her wrists.

Seeing as it is late fall, this is a perfectly acceptable way the wear a button down, but it was never a fashion choice of Maya's. Even in the dead of winter, she would always wear the sleeves of her button-ups rolled up to her forearms, or passed her elbows.

Yes, I don't know this Maya that is standing in front of me, but from her choice of clothing items, her fashion sense hasn't changed. So, the fact that she has chosen to wear her shirt the way that she has, makes me curious, and a little uneasy.

And, adding to the uneasiness settling in my stomach, is the fact that the fingers of Maya's right hand have left the doorknob they were wrapped around, and have moved to the cuff of her left sleeve. They play with the edge of the fabric -running over it, and tugging the material as far down on her wrist as it will go... 

Like a nervous habit -which I understand if she's nervous. I am too- but, also like she is trying to hide something...

My gaze catches on the knuckles of her right hand. The skin stretched over them is bruised. Covered in various shades of black, blue, purple, yellow, and green. Showcasing that the damage gracing the skin is both new and old. 

My uneasiness continues to grow, as my eyes continue to take in the blonde stranger in front of me, and I begin to notice things that I had originally missed. 

The bones in her hands stand out -like I noticed earlier that her cheekbones do.

And on third glance, I notice that her jeans fit length-wise, but the material doesn't cling to her hips and legs like it should... Instead, it sags and bunches around the form underneath it...

Also, I now realize, that the plaid shirt -which I have seen Maya wear dozens of times. I was with her when she purchased it- doesn't fit like it used to. 

The bottom of the fabric still stops just bellow the tops of her thighs, but instead of softly clinging to the cures of her frame, the material hangs loosely off of every edge of the body that it covers.

From the way that these clothes fit her, it is easy to see that Maya has lost a good bit of weight.

She has always been thin, but in an athletic type of way.

The artist has never played any sports, but during our sophomore year, she took to running and working out six days a week, as well as improving her eating habits.

After a while, well defined muscles were strung all over her body. Her chiseled abs were to die for, and the way that her muscles would move under her skin was hypnotizing. 

Maya didn't need to lose weight, but it is evident that she has -whether she tried to or not.\

She has withered away to almost nothing, and it makes me sick to my stomach... In fact, every change that I have laid my eyes on makes me want to be sick...

When I look at the blonde artist, I still see her as gorgeous. The sight of her still makes my heart beat to fast and stalls my intake of oxygen. She is still the most beautiful person I have ever seen, and ever will see. 

But, seeing my best friend in this way -so broken and hollowed out- twists my insides, and I have to fight back the tears that are pooling in my eyes. 

My gaze bounces back to her face, and I find myself staring into the blue of her familiar, yet unrecognizable, eyes once again.

There is a glaze on them that is noticeable now that I'm standing so close to the blonde, and I briefly wonder just how much she has had to drink tonight.

I once again take a deep breath, and a more concentrated version of her scent fills my nostrils. It is mixed with the stench of liquor, and the faint smell of cigarette smoke, but it's there.

It's there, it's strong, and it's coming directly form Maya.

My head is still urging me to speak. To say something, anything. And, I'm racking my brain, trying to find the words, but before I get the chance to even settle on the right thing to say, her voice fills my ears.

"What are you doing here?"

My mouth falls open slightly, my mind is scrambling for a response.

It has been three months since I last heard that voice, and it is music to my ears.

She just continues to stare at me, as I work to formulate a response. 

It would help a little if I knew what exactly she meant by "here".

Does she mean "here" as in - at this party? Her party? Or, does she mean "here" as in - standing in front of her, in her presence?

The blonde speaks again, and it's like she can hear the questions running through my head.

"Riley, what are you doing here? Why are you at this party?"

I have always loved the way that my name sounds coming from Maya's mouth. To me, it sounds the best coming off of her lips. And, after three months of not hearing her say it, my body still reacts the same way it always did whenever I heard any version of my name roll off of her tongue.

My knees are weak, my heartbeat speeds up, and my mind clouds over even more than before.

Through the chaos, my brain works overtime to clear the fog, and finally construct a response to her questions. It takes me a few more moments, but in the end -without my permission- my mouth produces a response...

"I don't know..."

It's a lie... Of course it's a lie...

I know why I came here tonight. To this party. To her apartment.

Even if I convinced myself before I got here that I was just coming to have a good time with some friends, I know now that that isn't the truth. 

I'm here because of my feelings. I'm here for Maya...

Because, it is always about Maya.

She is my favorite drug. My everything.

I have missed her. I need her.

I need to be close to her. I finally needed to be in the blonde rebel's presence, even if it was within the walls of her apartment, surrounded by a crowd of drunk people, and blaring music. I needed to be somewhere that I knew Maya would be, even if I didn't speak to her, or even see her face.

My willpower unknowingly broke and some point, and I needed to get my fix of her.

So, when I heard that she was throwing a party at her apartment, I talked to some of my friends, and we agreed to attend together. I told them -and myself- that it was just so that we could have some fun. Some major fun.

During the past three months, my friends and I have been to numerous parties, but I always avoided the ones that Maya threw.

From past experience, I knew that the blonde throws some great parties -the best-, but recently, I would do anything to stay away from every ragger that she threw.

Yet, when the last bit of my restraint snapped, one of her parties seemed like the obvious choice to be near the blue eyed artist.

So, I subconsciously lied to my friends, and to myself. This wasn't about Maya, it was about having a ridiculously good time.

But, I should have known that I couldn't fool myself for long...

Now, I'm standing here, feeding Maya a lie -the same way that I have been feeding myself lies.

Maybe she will take my response as an acceptable answer. Maybe she will just leave it be, let it go, and not even think about it.

Or, possibly, -from the way that her right eyebrow raises- maybe the blonde sees through the lie in my words. Maybe she still knows me just well enough to be able to do that.

Maybe she won't drop it. By some chance, maybe my lie isn't good enough for Maya, and she will push the issue. Push me until I open up and tell her the truth...

Possibly, here in her apartment, during one of her parties, we are finally going to discuss this whole thing... Our situation...

The distance...

All of the blurred lines...

My...our...feelings...

Maybe there might be a chance that we can talk this out...

Or, maybe... Everything is just about to blow up in our faces...

 

Word Count: 2952 words


	4. Now We’re Face To Face And... And My Heart Is Racin’... I Can Taste Temptation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it’s been so long you guys. And, ive been out of the writing game for a while so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes and if this isn’t as long as my previous chapters. But, here’s chapter four! I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> I love feedback! So, please feel free to leave comments, kudos, and bookmark this story!
> 
> All original content is mine. I do not own GMW or is characters and such.
> 
> The chapter title is a line from “Unholy” by Hey Violet.

Maya’s POV:

“I don’t know...”

The second those words passed Riley’s lips I knew they were a lie.

Yet, despite the lie, the brunette held eye contact with me. Unwavering.

Three months ago this wouldn’t have been the case. 

Riley has never been able to lie to someone while maintaining eye contact. Actually, when it came down to it, she could never truly lie... Especially to me...

But, when she tried to lie she could never do so with constant eye contact. She’d either lose the connection during, after, or even before the lie even left her lips. 

But now, standing here in the doorway of my bedroom, her eyes were still locked on mine...

I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe she’s in shock. Or, maybe, she’s changed over the past three months... 

God knows I have... 

Yet, even though she may have changed... Even though she may have learned how to maintain eye contact while attempting to lie... I can still see the falseness in her words behind her eyes...

She knows why she’s here. At my party. In my apartment. She knows the answer to what my question implied. 

But, she knows even more than that as well...

She knows why she’s standing in my presence in front of my bedroom. Why she followed me. 

I can see it swirling in those chocolate orbs of hers. I can feel it in the tension in the air between us.

Somehow, after all this time apart, I feel like I can still read her like a book... 

I begin to feel overwhelmed... Staring into those big brown eyes of hers... So, ultimately, I’m the one who breaks our eye contact.

I begin to take in Riley’s appearance. Beginning at her feet and traveling upwards. Taking in everything.

Her feet are clad in dark tan ankle boots with about an inch of a heel on them. 

A thin silver chain is wrapped around the brunette’s left ankle. And, there seems to be a charm dangling from the outer side of her ankle, but in my slightly-more-than-buzzed state, I can’t clearly make out what it is. 

My eyes continue their ascension upwards, grazing over the smooth expanse of skin of her legs. 

As my gaze travels to meet the hem of Riley’s burgundy dress, my fingers itch to run over every inch of skin that my gaze comes into contact with.

I withstand my desire to touch her, and continue to take in Riley’s outfit. 

From the top of her chest to the hemline, the dress that is draped over her frame is made of what seems to be a Chiffon type of fabric, while the material running from the top of her chest to her collarbones and down her arms to her wrists is a nice lacey material. 

Her dress is fancy, yet just understated enough for this party. Very Riley-esque.

My eyes move upwards to follow the line of the brunette’s neck until they fall upon - and trace the edge of - her jawline. 

My mind recalls the numerous occasions I have allowed my guard to slip - over the time that my feelings had developed for Riley as well as over the last three months - and I would think of what it would be like to run my lips over all of this skin... All over her body... 

As I’m lost in my thoughts, I feel my tongue run over my lips as my eyes finally fall onto Riley’s mouth. 

Her lips are slightly parted, and as I hear her take in a deep breath, she pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth.

Over the years, I had caught onto the fact that this action was a nervous habit of the brunette’s, but I always used to hopelessly wonder if maybe it had a deeper meaning when she was around me... The type of meaning that would cause hot knots in the pit of my stomach and leave me dazed at just the thought of the possibility. 

And it still does...

My mouth is suddenly dry. I try to swallow, but it’s difficult. My eyes are fixed on that piece of flesh that the brunette is worrying in between her teeth. My mind is racing.

I feel that old familiar pull. The urge to close the distance between us. Between our bodies. Between our lips. 

The desire to grab her hand, pull us both backwards into my room, lock the door, and...

I come to my senses, and remember that I can’t let my mind go down that path... I haven’t spoken to this girl for three months... And it’s because of thoughts and desires like those...

So, before I lose myself to those God damn tempting thoughts, I tear my eyes from Riley’s lips, and finally meet her gorgeous brown eyes once more.

The look in her eyes is a mixture of several different emotions...

Concern.

Sadness.

Pain.

And a hint of desire... If I’m not mistaken...

I’ve always been able to read Riley and her emotions so well. I’d like to believe I still can... But, anything along the lines of lust - desire - attraction has always been difficult for me to catch onto when it comes to the brunette...

I believe, maybe, it’s because I don’t allow myself to look deep enough into the possibility of those types of intentions when it comes to her and what she feels and wants. 

Yes, there were times I had wondered if the reason she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth was because sometimes she was thinking about doing the very same thing to mine. And there were times when I wondered if her “accidental” touching or the glances she would give me were layered with more than friendly intentions. 

There were a lot of Riley’s actions that I started to question. But, I never allowed myself to dwell on them. 

I was... I am... afraid that I’ll want something so badly - that I’ll want her to want me so badly - that I’ll see something that isn’t truly there...

So, that hint of desire I think I’m seeing right now? I do what I would always do. I brush it off. Quickly. 

I do my best to pull myself back to the situation at hand. The question I asked the brunette. And the lie that passed those tempting lips of hers.

But still, as my eyes stay locked on hers, and my voice escapes my throat, it sounds strangled...

“You don’t know?... Riley. Are you fucking serious? We may not have had any contact in three months, but I can still sense when you’re lying...”

She shuts her eyes and breathily replies. 

“Maya...”

I cut her off before she can force another lie my way, or find a way avoid my questions all together. 

“No.”

When my forceful reply leaves my mouth, her eyes snap open to meet mine once again. 

I take two steps minor steps forward. Making the small amount of space between us almost totally disappear. 

We’re so close that our noses would touch if I moved just a fraction closer to the brunette. I can feel her breath fan across my face. And, I’m surprised that she hasn’t taken at-least one step backwards. That she hasn’t attempted to put a little more space between us. 

“Riley, don’t you dare try and lie to me again. And I’m not letting you side step this conversation either. So, answer me. Truthfully. Why are you here?”

I can sense the movement before my eyes are drawn to it, and before I know it my gaze is locked onto Riley’s mouth another time. Her bottom lip has once more been pulled between her teeth. 

And, there’s that temptation again. To feel her mouth upon mine. To run my fingers through that shoulder length brown hair and pull her as close as possible. To run my tongue over that bottom lip of hers right before I replace her teeth with mine...

All I’d have to do is close the small gap between us and I could finally know what her lips taste like...

But, before I can make any irrational moves, my eyes are once again focused on Riley’s chocolate filled gaze as she speaks.

“Because I miss you...”


End file.
